The only picture I had with AhGong.
Hais... AhGong has left us... No longer here with us anymore... He passed away.. Today; 2August'09, around 6am plus... Hais.. I will visit him every year if I can, and I will remember this day.
Rest In Peace, AhGong..
You'll still be in our hearts.
We love you, dearly.
Hais. Too late for regrets...
I regretted showing him attitude,
I regretted thinking that he has a bad attitude,
I regretted not spending much time with him,
I regretted not trying to understand him when I couldn't,
I regretted not talking to him much,
I regretted having hatred for him when he's angry with me,
I regretted not treating him better & right when he's still with us,
I regretted not visiting him when I have the time to,
I regretted thinking that he's sometimes a nuisance,
I regretted not taking him out to walks sometimes,
I regretted not accompanying him when I was with him,
I regretted not holding on to him carefully when he feels unwell,
I regretted not taking care of him when he was sick,
I regretted not trying to understand what he has to go through; with a needle poked through his tummy because of diabetes..

I just regretted everything. I didn't know how to cherish when he's still with us.

Everything happened too suddenly, too quickly.. I couldn't accept the fact that's he gone. Literally gone. He was fine then. I thought he would live till all of us (his grand-childrens) grow up. But never have I thought that it has to be this day...

Everything was fine.. Until Mummy called at 6am plus.. She told us to get up and make our way to NUH hospital. She said that AhGong going to cannot make it already. Hais. But I still laid in bed. I wasn't sure of what to do, Daddy said... Not gonna say that part, it isn't nice. I thought AhGong just needed to go to the hospital for some check up or something. So I continued sleeping.

Time dragged until around 7am plus.. Mummy called brother instead. He waked all of us up. Then he told us that AhGong passed away already... Went to bathe & got ready, Daddy drove us to the hospital.

Saw all my cousins, aunts, uncles & grandma. We got into the ward to see him for the last time... And there he was... Lying on his death-bed, with a white cloth on him.. Indeed, very heart-wrenching.. Everyone broke down. Including me. All those memories of me & AhGong just kept flashing in my mind. I felt unfillial at that time. I couldn't accept it because it happened to suddenly. Mummy said that AhGong told grandma & my uncle that he wasn't feeling well, he told them to get an ambulance. My Uncle drove him there instead. But half way.... Heart attack... No more already. Passed away.. Too sudden.. Hais...

I stroked his white hair, and touched him for the last time. He felt so cold... I could only cry & cry, there's nothing else I can do.. I cried even harder when I touched him for the last time.. But there's something that I wonder about. I wasn't really close to AhGong, yet I cried like there's no tomorrow. But my cousin, which my AhGong dote on the most, didn't cry at all. She didn't even dare to touch him. Maybe she's too young to understand.. Well.. My AhMa was the most kelian one.. Her husband ley.. Hais. Sad for her...

Left the ward.. Got out of the hospital.. Hais, Mummy asked me to go to his funeral later at night.. Might be going. Not sure, very tired.. Daddy drove us back home, but without Mummy. The others headed for my grandma's house. On the way back, I was still thinking about AhGong; why he left so suddenly. What's gonna happen to the others. Hais. Life still has to go on... :/

Passed Buangkok, got breakfast. Home & had breakfast.. Blogging early today because, my brother is using & I might not be able to blog, cuz maybe gonna attend funeral... Hais.. I've got no mood for anything now. I still can't accept it, and I want him to come back to us... I miss him a lot... And I guess you guys should cherish others around you as well. You never know when they'll leave you.