Today Science exam. Met Huiling, walked to school together. Me, Chinteng, Huiling & Shiting all had our exams outside class. -.- Science was hard... Finished the paper at 9am. Mr Zul walked pass.. Then all got scolded by him. -.-.. 9.30am exam ended.

Bused to Compass with Huiling, Chinteng & Crystal. Had Long John for breakfast. Then waited for Chengyao to come. Followed by Ben & Rong Yu. Then the girls went home. We trained to Kovan. Went to the bowling place. Didn't play. Watched them play. Fought with Ben. Was okay after that.

Chengyao went on with his friends.. Rongyu, Ben & me went to Heartland Mall de KFC to have lunch. Then went to Comics Connection, then Popular. Rongyu very funny, haha.. Stayed in Popular for quite a long time. Then suddenly Chengyao & Jeremy came? Another fight happened? Don't wish to say. Around 4pm plus, bused to my house downstairs find Desmond. Slack awhile then home.

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Eh, cb la hor. What's wrong with you? Firstly, I WASN'T IN A GOOD MOOD. You yourself knew it too. I went to eat with Ben, then I was feeling much better alr. So I walked around, slack. LIKE THIS GOT WRONG MAH? WHAT WRONG? You didn't even tell me you were waiting for me. You say you go play basketball with your friend. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE GONNA WAIT FOR ME, OR DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT TIME YOU WERE GOING HOME. THEN NOW YOU BLAMING ME? If you had told me what time you were going home or you were waiting for me, I WOULDN'T BE IN THE MALL ALL THE TIME. SO IS IT MY FAULT? WTF LA, AT THAT TIME I SOMEHOW FELT THAT YOU WERE MUCH BETTER. BUT NOW WHAT? YESTERDAY JUST FIGHT THEN TODAY START ANOTHER PROBLEM. YOU THINK I WANT FIND PROBLEM WITH YOU? I ALREADY TRIED TO AVOID SUCH SITUATIONS. LITTLE THINGS YOU SAY UNTIL VERY BIG. SAY UNTIL LIKE ALL IS MY FAULT. KNN LA. STILL SHOW ME ATTITUDE & FACE. YOU TELL ME YOU WAIT FOR ME, I WILL TRY TO GO FIND YOU. BUT WHAT? YOU DIDN'T. EH I TELL YOU HOR. I'M REALLY VERY TIRED FROM DOING ALL THIS. I NEED TO ENTERTAIN THE 2 OF YOU ALL THE TIME. THINK WHAT? I ENTERTAINER? FUCK LA. I DON'T FUCKING ENTERTAIN PEOPLE. THEN EVERYDAY FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. NOW EXAM PERIOD, WANT REST ALSO CANNOT. EVERYDAY AFTER PLAY COM, NEED CALL YOU BOTH. SWITCH HERE SWITCH THERE. WANT KUP ALSO CANNOT KUP. VERY TIRED, NEED REST, WANT SLEEP ALSO DON'T LET. YOU GUYS THINK I'M SOME KIND OF MACHINE THAT NEVER GETS TIRED? LET ME TELL YOU, I'M NOT. I HAVE FEELINGS. EVERYDAY SEE YOU BOTH AT THERE MOODY. I WHAT? VERY HAPPY SIBO? Sometimes, I just want to relax after a long day. But what do I get? Attitude? Faces to see? Fights? Different problems everyday? Wtf is this? Back to just now. Let me tell you. I DON'T THINK THAT I HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG. IF you had just told me about it. The outcome WOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS. Never mind la hor. You already say end what. Everytime say end end end, I try to save it back, saved back, same thing happen. I'm SO SICK of doing this ALL THE TIME. I tried. I REALLY DID TRIED. But this few days really suck. Because of you two I cry like one stupid baby. I NEVER CRY FOR PEOPLE. And I guess I DON'T. After you both see this post, again say want MIA. I tell you. You all don't MIA, don't fight in front of me, don't buay ge yan each other, don't always moody one corner, I HAPPY LIAO. Understand mah? I want de is just this simple. Why you all must like that? Why you all must everyday cause troubles for me? You all only care about how you feel inside is it? Then I tell you all now la hor. I'm feeling MUCH MORE WORSE, WORSE x100000000 THAN WHAT YOU ALL ARE FEELING. I feel like I'm WALKING ON THIN ICE. It could just break ANYTIME. Please, don't threaten me anymore with such stuff. I cannot take it anymore liao. I've never undergone so much stress before. I really really did tried to go and understand what you both are thinking & feeling. I'm finding ways to make you both stop feeling so unhappy with each other. But how much further can I go? How much can I do? My patients has it's limits. I always felt that you both have crossed it. CROSSED IT LONG AGO. But I hold back, I try to stop thinking about it. I bear. I BEAR WITH IT. I try to give in. I TRY. I always try to make you both happy. One happy, one at there sad. One sad, one at there happy. I'm always switching sides. I really don't know what to do.


我尽力了, 我真的尽力了。
你们能不能去用力地想,
我到底在想什么?为什么会那么伤心?
我不想再为你们哭了。
请别把一切都当成是理所当然的。
Cause you never know what might happen tomorrow.
After you both have read this part. The least you could do for me is, don't have any negative thoughts. Because I really cannot take anymore heart-breaking words. I really feel that I can break down just anytime. Please just spare a thought for me. I really can't take the pain anymore.

I guess I will be seeing you no more from tomorrow onwards.
Everything you told me was total SHIT from the start.
If you really loved me, you wouldn't have given up SO EASILY.
You wouldn't have hurt me so much.
You wouldn't have fought with me over such little things.
Just use your brain to think.
Whose fault is it. If it's mine, give me a simple explanation
And I will think through it. I will apologise if it's my fault.
If it isn't. Go think through what you should do.